FEATURES OF BEHAVIOR IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS OF PRIMARY SCHOOL CHILDREN

ABSTRACT

The article explores conflict behavior in children aged 6–10, highlighting emotional impulsivity, egocentrism, reliance on adult authority, and verbal aggression as key features. Practical mediation strategies for teachers and parents are provided, emphasizing that guided conflicts serve as crucial social learning opportunities.

Keywords: primary school children, conflict behavior, emotional regulation, egocentrism, verbal aggression, teacher mediation.

Children aged 6–10 experience conflicts differently than adults or teenagers. Their behavior is driven by emotional impulsivity, egocentrism, and a strong reliance on adult authority. Understanding these psychological features is key to turning a fight over a pencil into a lesson in social skills.

In primary school, children transition from parallel play to genuine cooperation. This shift inevitably leads to disputes over roles, rules, and resources. However, conflict at this age is not a sign of poor upbringing — it is a developmental milestone. The way a child behaves during a quarrel reveals much about their emotional regulation, self-esteem, and social cognition.

1. Emotional Impulsivity

The most striking feature of younger schoolchildren in conflict is the lack of impulse control. A child does not pause to analyze intent. If someone takes their eraser, they may scream, hit, or cry immediately — and then, five minutes later, play happily with the same peer.

Why? The prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and reasoning, is still developing.

Result: Conflicts are short but intense. Anger flares quickly and fades just as fast.

2. Egocentrism and Perspective-Taking

Jean Piaget noted that children in the preoperational and concrete operational stages struggle to see situations from another’s point of view. In a conflict, a child genuinely believes that their own feelings define the truth.

Typical phrase: "He started it!" (even if the child retaliated aggressively).

Consequence: The child sees their own aggression as justified (response), but the other’s aggression as unprovoked (attack).

3. The Adult as Arbiter

Unlike adolescents, who often avoid adult interference, younger children actively seek it. Running to a teacher or parent to "tell on" someone is not merely tattling — it is a cry for a referee.

Positive side: The child trusts adults and believes in rules.

Negative side: Without an adult present, children rarely resolve disputes independently. They lack internalized mediation strategies.

4. Verbal Aggression and Name-Calling

Physical aggression does occur, especially among boys with lower self-esteem, but verbal aggression is the dominant tool. Teasing, mimicking, name-calling, and excluding peers from games are common.

Gender note: Girls more often use relational aggression (spreading rumors, exclusion), while boys tend toward direct verbal or physical confrontation.

5. Rule-Based Arguments

Children of this age love rules. Conflicts often arise precisely because rules are unclear, broken, or applied unfairly. Interestingly, a child will cite a rule to defend themselves even if they violated it moments earlier — this is not hypocrisy but a clumsy attempt at moral reasoning.

What Adults Can Do: Practical Strategies

Instead of acting as a judge ("Who is guilty?"), adults should act as a mediator ("How can you both be okay?").

Don't Do

Ask "Who started it?" Say "Let’s each say what happened without interrupting."

Punish publicly Separate children, calm them down, then talk privately.

Force an insincere "sorry" Help them find a fair solution (taking turns, sharing, changing roles).

Ignore minor conflicts Use them as teachable moments for negotiation.

A Simple Mediation Script for Teachers and Parents:

1. Stop the action – "Freeze. Let’s all sit down."

2. Listen to each child – "You were angry because…" (use reflections).

3. Identify the need – "So you both wanted the same toy?"

4. Generate solutions – "What can we try? Taking turns? Rolling a die?"

5. Make a plan and a peace ritual – high-five, pinky swear, or a simple handshake.

When to Worry: Red Flags

While most conflicts are normal, persistent patterns require attention:

• One child is always the victim (chronic withdrawal, fear of school).
• One child is always the aggressor (lack of remorse, elty).
• Conflicts escalate into physical fights with injuries.
• The child refuses all adult help and isolates completely.

By age 10–11, with consistent guidance, children begin to negotiate and compromise independently. But the foundation is laid earlier. Teaching a child to distinguish between feeling angry and acting aggressively, between winning and being fair, is one of the most valuable gifts of primary education.

References:

1. Vygotsky, L. S. Developmental Psychology. Selected Works. Moscow: Yurait, 2020. 281 p.
2. Pakhomova, O. S., Kundbaeva, B. B., Mkhitaryan, Yu. V. Features of Teaching Primary School Students Constructive Conflict Resolution // Young Scientist. 2026. No. 9 (612). pp. 108–111.
3. Nevzorova, M. S., Glushkova, A. N. Developing Conflictological Competencies in Primary School Students through Psychological Support in Gaining Relationship Experience // Scientific and Educational Journal. 2025.
4. Machekhina, O. P. Problems of Adaptation at School as a Source of Conflicts // Modern Problems of Science and Education. — 2015. — No. 4.
5. Brovkina, D. P. Psychological and pedagogical conditions for preventing conflict behavior in primary school students: final qualifying work. — Moscow: Moscow State Pedagogical Univ., 2019. — 55 p.